Mark 10:13-22

Jesus meek and mild. The scene seems to have been invented for children's Bible's. It's a beautiful scene. People are bringing children to Jesus to be blessed. And Jesus takes them up in his arms and blesses them and says, "Suffer the little children to come unto me for to such belongs the kingdom of heaven."

As a child I remember the pictures of this scene that I saw in Sunday School books and children's Bibles and even stained glass windows. And I remembered hearing the words of Jesus and being liberated by them. The Kingdom of heaven belonged to me! Church was not just a thing for grown ups, kids like me were a part of it too! I was a part of the church. I was a part of the kingdom because Jesus said so.

But these words would never have been spoken if Jesus had not stood up to his disciples. You remember the whole story was that the disciples were keeping the people from bringing their children to Jesus. "Don't worry the master with you babies. He has lepers and paralytic to heal. He's too busy for you." So Jesus just patted the disciples on the back and walked away - NO! Mark tell us that Jesus was "indignant" and was probably not using a soft tone of voice when he said, "Let the little children come to me for the kingdom belongs to them too. In fact if you don't accept it like a child you'll never enter it."

Jesus stood up to his disciples to set thing straight. He was assertive. As you know the East Wing Sunday School Class began a class on Christian Assertiveness this week. Richard loaned me is copy of the book they will be using and I read it. I felt it was an important enough topic to address in a sermon. You see Jesus, our Lord and example, was assertive when he needed to be.

Some people think that because Jesus loved everyone infinitely that he wanted to please everyone. That's simply not true. Jesus loved everyone but sometimes love demanded that he say or do things that made them uncomfortable. Jesus stood up for righteousness and even for his own needs for food and rest.

The story of the rich young man is a good example of this. This rich young man came to Jesus and said, "Good teacher what must I do to have eternal life." Instead of patting him on the back Jesus confronts him: "Why do you call me good?" After the man says that he has kept the commandments Mark tells us that Jesus loved him. But he still doesn't pat the man on the back. He confronts the man again with a demand that makes him question what is really most important in his life. He says, "Sell everything, give the money to the poor, then follow me."

Jesus was assertive with this young man. Not because he didn't care about his feelings. Jesus loved the man. He was assertive because he loved him. And because Jesus loved him, he couldn't lie to him to keep from hurting his feelings. So Jesus boldly, in love, told him what he needed to do.

The book Speak Up! Christian Assertiveness defines Christian Assertiveness as: "a skill of expressing one's feelings, thoughts, and preferences in ways that take into account one's own rights and feelings and also the rights and feelings of others. It has as its goals clear communication, the equitable resolution of conflicts, and increased intimacy between people."(p. 15) Assertiveness is a communications skill. You will not learn it overnight or merely by listening to a sermon or reading a book. I hope this sermon will help people think about it and that the book the class will use will help them begin to develop it. As any skill it is something that needs to be practiced and needs to be honed and worked on.

Assertiveness is not aggressiveness. The words sound the same but they are different. Assertiveness is about expressing one's self in a way that takes into consideration other people's feelings. Aggression on the other hand just seeks to hurt others.

Jesus is an example of this. He didn't seek to hurt the disciples or the young man. But he told it to them like it was. He didn't just pat them on the back and tell them what good people they were. He forcefully told them what they needed to hear, in love.

Christian Assertiveness is most important for two people: ourselves and others. Did you know that it's not unchristian to stand up for ones own needs? Some people think that because we are called to sacrifice, we should not express our own needs. We are called to sacrifice, but we are not called to be holy doormats. Christian sacrifice is not sacrifice for the sake of hurting oneself, it is sacrifice for the kingdom.

Even Jesus, the inventor of Christian sacrifice who died on a cross, stood up for his needs. Just read the Bible. Often times, as the crowds were coming to Jesus, he would go off alone to pray. These were people in need of healing and guidance. But Jesus was human, so he just said stop sometimes and went to commune with his Father and recharge his batteries.

But it's not just our needs that we should stand up for. We should also stand up for our feelings. Christians are called to live in community with each other. If we are going to live as a community of faith we need to know one another's feelings. We need to know each others feeling and preferences so that we can serve one another as Jesus called us to. It's not a matter of my preferences over and above yours but how can we best respect everyone's feelings.

I also said that Christian assertiveness is important for others. We are called to speak up for those in need. Where would we be if Jesus had not stood up for the children? Children throughout the ages would not have experienced the liberation I did as a child when I learned that the Kingdom was for me too. And where would we be if Paul and Peter and the other apostles had not stood up for the Gospel? Where would we be if the early Christian martyrs had not stood up to the Romans?

If you don't believe that Christians are called to be assertive, just read the prophets of the Old Testament. It was assertive of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego to stand up to King Nebuchadnezzar and say, "We will not worship your golden idol." The prophets were always standing up for the needs of the poor and orphans and the down trodden. And as God's people we are called to stand up for them too.

It's our responsibility as Christians to be assertive in proclaiming the word of God. John Wesley, the founder of the Methodist Church, is an example of this. When the church leaders told John Wesley he couldn't preach his message of salvation in their churches, he went out into the streets and the fields and proclaimed it to any who would listen. And when he saw the evil of slavery he preached against it even though it sometimes started riots. He was assertive with the word of God.

Christian Assertiveness: it's all about standing up for something. It is not about demanding our own way, but faithfully expressing our thoughts and feelings. It is about standing up for the needs of other and our own needs. It is important to maintaining a community as well as our witness to the world.

And of course Jesus is our example. He stood up to others. Not because he didn't care about their feeling. Jesus was assertive precisely because he did care. He called his disciples to task and he often confronted the religious leaders for their unfaithfulness.

Yes, Jesus was meek and mild and he was gentle. But he could also be assertive when he needed to be. And we should seek to follow his example.

Sanders, Randolph K, & H. Hewton Malony, Speak Up! Christian Assertiveness, 1985 (The Westminster Press, Philadelphia)

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